Misused Mistakes
by VictorsGrace
Summary: TDH spoilers What has Lilys and Severus' relationship been like? How close were they? How did their friendship evolve? Basically this is me showing you what I think could have happened between the given memories. Love, friends, deatheaters and jealousy!
1. Chapter I

_Misused Mistakes_

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, but are copyrighted to the writer J.K. Rowling, as are certain areas and names. 

The authors note is at the bottom of the page.

Chapter I 

It was a warm evening in a suburban neighbourhood. The sounds of blackbirds and one single chain squeaking is a calming sound, added to the already idyllic surroundings. A boy, tall for his age, sits on a swing, pushing it lazily and letting his feet slowly scrape the ground as he swings forward. He looks up towards the sunset, his shoulder-black hair glistening a little greasy. He seems to be pleasantly waiting for something, secretly enjoying the scenery.

A rustling of bushes behind him catches his attention; looking back a red-haired girl greets him smilingly, urgently waving what looks like a small letter.

"Severus! Severus, I got it, I got it!"

Something seems to soften the boys' expression – his depressing demeanour seems to melt away, revealing a somewhat handsome boy despite the unappealing first impression.

"Did it come by owl?" he asks her.

"Oh yes! Oh Severus, it was great!" she runs over and sits herself in a tailor position in front of him, in a tom-boy manner. "Mom and Dad were so exited!"

The boy smirks a little "and Petunia? What did she say?" he asks.

"Oh, she went mental!" they both laugh at this idea. "She went on and on about bird-influenza and I don't know what. Mom and Dad barely noticed." They laugh heartily – both of them. After they giggling settle down a little, the girl seems to come out of her enthusiasm a bit. She sighs from the efforts of laughter, looks to her friend and suddenly gasps.

"What happened?" gone is her joyous disposition, replaced by concern. The boys face darkens, although not enough to hide the black eye covering his right side.

"I got a letter too." He answers.

"You Dad again..?" her tone is cautious.

"Yes." His bitter tone is a sharp contrast to the idyll. Silence settles between them. Lily fiddles with a handful of gravel, running it through her hands. The birds keep on with their indifferent singing. Severus looks away, hiding his bruised face from her eyes as if ashamed. She looks at him in a way only one of two best friends can. She takes in his lean figure, over-sized coat, lime-green polo shirt and orange jeans too short for him. She seems to wonder on something.

"I've got something for you." She finally says. Severus looks pleased that he wasn't the one to break the silence. He looks surprised, as if the idea of what she's said is almost ridiculous.

"Y-you have?"

"Yeah." she laughs a little at his surprise. She takes out an obviously home-wrapped gift and fumbles with it. "I just thought, you know, well – you keep saying that you'll end up in Slytherin House and I – well, I might not."

The truth in this seems to upset them both a little. "So," she continues with renewed determination. "I just thought you should have something to… To, uhm… I just don't want you to forget about me, if I end up in another house."

Looking amazed at her, he takes the present. "If we make new friends, I don't want us to stop seeing each other." She continues, although the words don't seem to reach him. He first takes his eyes off of her when he's nearly finished unwrapping it. Under the brown paper lies a white handkerchief with a simple and modern print He unfolds the fabric which reveals a thin, gold chain, carrying a small gold plate neatly engraved _'Lily_'. He stares at it. "It's nothing special." She claims almost humbly. "My parents gave it to me. You know, when I was baptised."

"What?" he asks distractedly, while staring at the necklace in almost wonder.

"-Being baptised means the Church holds a ceremony to give you your name. With your whole family there, and a Priest." The girl explains in a tone indicating that she's used to explaining common things as such. "They put water on your head."

Severus raises an eyebrow, removing his eyes from the present for the first time since he unwrapped it. "No one ever gave me anything like this…"

A short silence stays with them like a timid bird, before Lily's voice scares it away. "Can you believe we're finally going to Hogwarts?" she exclaims, not noticing – or choosing not to notice – the seriousness in his tone. "Aren't you exited?"

Severus gives a small smile and leaves the swings to sit in front of her in an identical position. With gleaming black eyes he puts on the necklace. Hesitating for a second, he places a hand on her shoulder. It shakes just a tiny bit. "I'd never forget about you, Lily. Not for a million years."

For a millisecond there seems to be a deeper connection between them, but then she giggles with renewed enthusiasm. She hugs him quickly and tightly, says "I've got to go – Mum's got dinner ready! See you at ¾'s Sev'!" and runs off to disappear through the bushes again.

Severus sat in the gravel, with a wildly pounding heart and sand in his oversized shoes, looking after her until she couldn't be seen. He clutched the necklace tightly as if it would still the fluttering butterflies in his stomach. The sun was almost completely gone now. His bruised eye barely ached

after her embrace.

……………………………………….

A wild honking breaks the stressed silence. Severus sits in a gloomy kitchen, absently holding a cup of cold tea and staring indifferently at a half eaten piece of toast. He can hear his mother scurrying through the rooms behind the door, packing the last necessities.

The horn breaks again. "I'm coming, Tobias, I'm coming!" her quivering voice yells to the driver in a weak manner of rebellion. Her thin figure hurries into the kitchen, her son a spitting image of his mother, except for the large nose. She sends him a haunted look as she hands him his coat.

"Hurry, now, Severus. We don't want to be late, now do we?"

"We'll be there too early, Mother – we've got plenty of time." He complains as she sends the dishes to be cleaned with a flick of her wand.

"Come, come now – you're father's right in being there early, you never know when the train leaves." She hurries to the entrée and grabs a battered old travelling trunk. "We don't want to be late, oh no…" she murmurs to her self as she goes to the car and obediently takes her place in the passenger seat besides a scowling Tobias.

As the car honks again, his father screams after him. With a heavy ball of led in his middle Severus grabs a small leather bag and heads towards the door. His parents are bickering in sharp, hissing voices. Some of the neighbouring windows have got their lights turned on now. Not far from their house a dog is barking somewhere, before it's brutally silenced by a yelling owner.

On the short way to the car Severus takes in his childhood streets: Despite the old villas, it looks like a deserted industry block. A vague amount of graffiti's spotted here and there, a small amount of litter covers the gutter where weed pokes up in scattered places. A slum in disguise. Getting into the car, he did not feel sorry to leave.

……………………………………..

On the way to the station Severus retires to his own thoughts. It's a good way to escape the mounting tension ever present between the parents. He rolls the newly acquired wand between his fingers, enjoying the feel of it. It's medium in length, smooth to the touch and a creamy, dark brown. He likes the way it feels warm in his hand as if it's pleased to get to know him. It's obviously new to this world; the wood young.

His mother shifts uncomfortably in her seat, nervously picking at her hair. Severus eyes her and the knot returns to his stomach. Looking at her, he realises that he hates her with every fibre in his body. He despises her for being _so weak_, for letting her self be oppressed and for giving in to this low-life scum of man, chosen to be his father by some fit of fate.

-But he also cares deeply for her, just for being his mother… It is in fact these scrawny fingers that have tucked him in. It is that woman who has tried to give him sanctuaries of comfort when they were both alone, left by the tyrant for the company of a bar. There have been rare evenings of falling asleep in her lap to the stories of Beetle the Bard, where glimpses of the true and confident Eileen Prince showed her self. He could imagine her almost being beautiful once… A long time ago…

Nevertheless, he thinks, turning to look out the window, she abandoned him when she chose not to leave his father.

……………………………………….

Authors note:

I have just finished reading J.K. Rowlings "The Deathly Hallows", when I realised what great material that book gives to write serious fanfictions about the relationship between Lily Potter and Severus Snape.

So the way I foremost will be writing this story, is as in the way that I imagine what _might_ have happened between the many scenes Snape shows Harry, by giving him his memory.

I think there are so many unanswered questions, that I ofcourse will delight myself in in this story. For example: Did Lily and Snape ever cut off the connection? What about his death eater times? How serious was it between them? And so on.

Therefore I will _not_ make this a pinky, romantic fiction about love alone. There will be love, but there will also be turmoil, evil deeds, regret, heartache and happyness mixed together. This is just the opening. Please read and review, and ofcourse, enjoy ;.)

- Victoria Grace


	2. To Hogwarts!

Disclaimer: The copyright of these characters, names and areas goes to J.K. Rowling. Authors note is at the bottom of the chapter.

**Chapter I – **_**To Hogwarts**_

The clattering of the Hogwarts express rocked the compartment slowly backwards and forwards. Severus had found a vacant one at the end of the train, away from the lively chatter of other children. The city view had just begun to speed away, making room for new sightings of meadows and small groupings of pine trees.

A rustling of soft fabric draws attention to the young boy occupying the compartment. His mismatched clothes lies on the floor in an untidy heap. The immediate impression is that of a mistreated chick, surprisingly thinner and more abused than by first glance, his state now visible without the ragged layer.

Bending down to search his small bag, the necklace gleams from his chest. In some way it seems like the only bright thing about the boy. He quickly dresses, seeming satisfied with his new appearance. The undershirt and robe is clean and soft against his skin and although already exited, his mood lightens a bit more.

They had indeed been too early for the train, thus making him spend half an unbearable hour more than necessary with his parents. They had been sour and bitter, the only comments being croaks from Tobias concerning the departure with his son or meaningless negative remarkings on his situation. He had seen Lily there, arguing with her intolerable Muggle-sister. Her parents seemed stupefyingly amazed at their surroundings, but, of course, they could only be ignorant to it all.

Apparently the argument between the girls had made Petunia terribly upset, leaving Lily very hurt by some insult or other.

He very much disliked seeing her standing there alone, on the verge of tears like that, but the thought of risking interaction with her parents, or – worse – Petunia, displeased him just a tad bit more.

Finally his parents had left him, mumbling their goodbyes and awkwardly stroking his hair or giving him a stiff hug. Severus didn't care, though – he was far too exited. They were finally going to Hogwarts after all these years! Him and Lily! Learning potions and magic together, being able to read together and probably share common rooms! His own breathing and relief almost became to much for him. He sighed audibly and stared resentfully at his Muggle-clothes. He could go a whole year now without having to wear that awful stuff… He felt like burning it! But, alas, he didn't know of any such incantations just yet, and come to think of it he might not get a new pair should he by accident "loose" them.

With a bothered expression he stuffed them into the small bag and entered the corridors with a fluttering heart: Now to find Lily!

……………………………………

"See ya, Snivellus!" the boy called after him as Severus tripped out the door. It slammed directly behind him, barely missing his back, unable to hold back the outburst of laughter erupting in the compartment. Severus' face was flustered as he turned stiffly to look at Lily. Her eyes were still a bit puffy.

"Arses…" she mumbled, sending the door a sour look.

Without another word she walked on ahead. Severus followed her, now feeling a bit unsure as his rage was fading. The air between them didn't feel good. He had known, hadn't he? He _knew_ the fight had been about that stupid letter. Why on earth had that Muggle-brat written to _Dumbledore_ anyway? Addressing him personally like that… In his opinion he had let her down to easily. What had she been thinking?

"Lily?" he asked to her back. She didn't respond, on purpose he expected. "Are you still mad about that Petunia-thing?"

She turned sharply, making him instantly wish he could take the phrase back. He saw the hurt look return to her face. "She was really mad, Severus! We shouldn't have read her letter – why did you take it?"

He looked a little stricken at this. "Why did I-? You didn't seem to mind at that moment! You read it with me!" Lily didn't answer, but just shot him a look not so much unlike the one she had given him in the boys' presence. She turned and opened another door, which revealed the compartment empty. She flopped down on her seat and gazed out the window, leaning against it.

Severus eyed her for a moment, standing in the door. He felt a tiny fear flutter in his stomach, more than he felt regret for this silly matter.

"Okay," he said. "so I'm sorry." He sat down in front of her, but she pretended not to notice. "I said I'm sorry." he kept on. "I'm sorry, Lily."

Finally she looked at him with fresh tears in her eyes. "She called me a f-_freak_." She said with a thick voice. "Me a freak and you a weirdo!" A few tears fell but she wiped them away instantly. "She's never said anything like that to me before… Never… Not like _that_."

"But you're not a freak." Severus stated flatly, feeling desperately inadequate. "You – You can do _magic_, Lily. The way you do it – even without a wand… You're special - In a good way." She smiled a tiny smile, although she didn't seem to mean and it made him feel a little safer.

"You can't be the only one with magic powers coming from a Muggle-family." He stated. She really smiled now, beaming at him.

"You think so..?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes. Mum sometimes talked about Muggle-people going to Hogwarts." '_Although in a very different tone' _he thought to himself.

Lilys face shone. She dried her eyes with the ends of her cardigan sleeves and laughed a little. They both secretly felt relieved by their own kind of burden. It didn't take long before the episode seemed not to have happened. They excitedly showed each other their wands; Lilys' was a long and light one, resting elegantly in her childish grasp. She asked if he would retell everything he knew about Hogwarts, and he did. They shared the same seat while taking turns to read the Tellings of Beetle the Bard. Lily told him about the Little Red Riding Hood and he told her that he had read about real Werewolves.

Time seemed unimportant on this destined journey with her. They also experienced the delights of the corridor trolley with marvellous pieces of candy! Lilys hair turned purple at one and Severus swore he could taste broccoli in another. The landscape flew past them along with the minutes, dragging the day with it as they went.

In the end all the days' experiences became too exhausting for Lily and she fell asleep on the seat opposite him. Severus watched her intensively with a look one might call greed, exhilaration maybe. The skies turned slowly darker outside the window as the train plowed through its costumed path. He studied her blood-coloured hair, her soft face and tiny body in childlike obsession and wondered what this magical place might truly be like. After all, books could only give you so much of an insight. To understand something and be a part of it, you had to really _be there_.

He still deeply hoped they would both be in Slytherin together… A lot of powerful men had started their days there and he aimed to be one of them. But not a lot of people with unpure blood had gone there, had they? Glancing at Lily again, he guessed it wouldn't be long before he found out.

……………………………………..

Authors note:

So that was chapter two! I thank those who have reviewed the first chapter – please continue to do so – and only have to say that it is on purpose that I chose not the end this chapter with them being sorted out at Hogwarts.

That will be the start of next chapter. I can't say how long it'll be before it's up – this one came earlier than I planned – but I have some research to do before it's finished.

Enjoy!

Thanks,

Victoria Grace.


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